Dear George,

As to your posting regarding the British Study that says Musical Chairs leads to aggressive behavior and should be curtailed if possible.

Our allies have once again been beaten to the punch, for the so-called OJ Simpson "Dream Team" ...if you read the books on the trial..had already coined this defense: Not Guilty by Reason of Musical Chair
Syndrome.

That's right, playing the race card was not The Dream Team's original defense for their favorite murderer: It was the Not Guilty by Musical Chair defense.

As a child, OJ Simpson was a champion Musical Chair player...he never lost a game...

Kato Kaelin testified...it never came out at trial...that he and OJ played their usual game of Musical Chairs on the night of the murderers.

Now...of course...in the strictest research sense....it is not possible to know if perhaps OJ or the British subjects suffered from the MC GENE FLAW...the errant Musical Chair gene....

Moreover,...in the strictest analytical sense...it is impossible to know whether it was the MUSIC...OR THE CHAIRS.. or only a COMBINATION OF BOTH.. that causes this murderous behavior in men like OJ.

The researchers didn't test these variables on a singular basis..Nor did they use a placebo double-blind study...not that many double-murderers walking around free who might agree to be part of the control group...

I mean...it just might be the music that causes this...OJ was in his car, listening to music...on that night...perhaps a simple NOT GUILTY BY REASON OF DOWNLOADING BAD MUSIC...might be the correct defense here. The GOP says some of today's music is the cause of a lot bad things that are happening in our culture.

Then, again, it might just be some Chair thing...doesn't involve music at all. OJ was in his den, sitting around and brooding according to the evidence. Maybe if he had been out there, in the dark, chipping golf
balls...and not seated...none of this would have happened.

I mean...The Chair Made Him Do It...right? Bobby Knight is known to throw a lot of chairs...go after players sitting on the bench...or secretaries at their desks...This Chair Gene is everywhere..

Query: What would happen if you had a guy with this Chair thing...and he got sentenced to The Chair...Would That Amount to Cruel and Unusual Punishment...banned by the Constitution...to sentence
a guy with the Chair thing to The Chair because he killed someone on account of the Chair?

Sounds like a case for the X-Files...or the LAPD...

Really...I read once about a guy who had this thing about Chairs...especially those Wicker chairs...now...if he also had this problem with music..and you combined the two into Musical Chairs...well...I
suppose there is no telling what he might have done.. Who could blame him?

FACT: We fought a war so we wouldn't have to listen to this kind of stuff from the British....Did You Know King George was a champion Musical Chair player....if you beat him, he cut off your head...Or was that Henry VIII?...runs in the family I guess..SO..I don't think we should have to listen to this latest British stuff.

However, for those who want to be on the safe side...it would seem that they would either have to remove all the chairs from their homes, offices, campaign HQ's...etc...or stop listening to music...

If you remember, former Senator William Proxmire didn't have a chair in his office...he stood all the time...the national press thought he was crazy...but clearly...he suffered from MCS ...Musical Chair
Syndrome...and was protecting himself from turning violent with the Senators...or staff members..

By the way...I hear they have an MCS clinic at the UVA hospital in Charlottesville...

Of course...the waiting room is...unusual...no chairs naturally..you have to sit on the floor...This has been known to really set some folks off...

Now...have you heard the news about the British study that says...kids who are not allowed to play musical chairs...demonstrate really aggressive behavior guess they can plead Not Guilty by Reason Of Not Being Allowed to Play Musical Chairs..

As for me, I stand with Mr. Heston of the NRA, and I paraphrase: " The government will have to pry my chairs and my music from my dead, cold hands".

Paul Goldman (electronic mail, May 24, 2000).